eve celeste savage

it has been six days since we met our daughter, eve celeste savage, and 3 days since we buried her. my blog seems an irreverent place to pay tribute to my sweet daughter, but since i've written so much about her thus far that i feel like i need to address what happened. to just pass over it like it didn't happen would be even more irreverent.


on wednesday, march 11th, 2009 i went in for my regularly scheduled 28-week checkup. everything appeared normal and my midwife was doing the routine listen for the heartbeat with the doppler. well, she thought eve was just wiggling around because she couldn't find the heartbeat so she sent me to a different room to get a nonstress test. same deal at the NST. i started to worry, but i had just felt her move that morning so i wasn't too worried. they sent me to get an ultrasound and then i saw it. i blurted out, "her little heart isn't beating." and the technician said, "no, i'm sorry, it isn't."

after a long period of crying and talking about "what's next," chris and i decided to go to the hospital that day to induce labor and deliver her. we got there at 2 in the afternoon and she was delivered by 11:45 that night. it was such a blessing that it was a relatively quick delivery. everyone at the hospital was wonderful - so very kind and attentive to us. the delivery was somewhat traumatic on my body; i lost a lot of blood but i'm feeling much stronger now.


chris and i were able to spend as much time with our new daughter as we wanted so we spent a lot of time holding her and looking at her. she was incredibly tiny - only 1 pound and 10.5 inches - but her features were so perfect and beautiful. finally we brought ourselves to say goodbye and hand over her little body to the nurses.



her graveside service was held that saturday and i couldn't have asked for a more perfect day. the weather was gorgeous; my mom, bishop, his wife, chris and i all walked to the cemetary that morning for the service. the sun was shining and i think God knew that i needed a cheery day to make it through ok. the service was beautiful and so many of our family were able to make it. i was very happy for their support and love. we prayed and spoke and sang and watched as they put her tiny casket into the ground. i think eve would have been pleased with the service. it was sad, but i felt very peaceful.

what happened? we still don't know. everything appeared normal and after numerous tests, my midwife found that i had a placental abruption, but couldn't find any explanation as to why that happened. that is hard, but i know that sometimes things happen in life that we can't explain or that seem too difficult to bear. but i know that we can bear them with the help of Jesus Christ and His infinite mercy. i can do all things through Him that strengthens me. for some reason she only needed to be here for 28 weeks and chris and i are glad that we were able to love her and care for her for that short amount of time.

our daughter's name literally means "heavenly life" (eve=life; celeste=heavenly). we chose this name because chris and i believe with every feeling in our hearts that eve is in a place far better than this world. she is now continuing to live; not on this earth, but in heaven. and when we too pass to the other side, we will be able to see her again and hold her in our arms once more.



i don't know why these things happen, but i believe in a God who has a plan for all of His children, even when we don't understand it. and i believe in a God who will comfort us as He promises to: "come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and i will give you rest. take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for i am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls" (matthew 11:28-29).